Abort a Tree, Make a Science Czar Angry

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This is from the brilliant mind of my 14 year old brother, in response to our new Science Czar making the case that trees have legal rights and should be allowed to go to court to protect those rights. John P. Holdrenn (Science Czar) said, Giving “natural objects” — like trees — standing to sue in a court of law would have a “most salubrious” effect on the environment.